Mourning Cloak — Josina Guess

Yesterday, March 28 marked the three year anniversary of two deaths. One of my friends lost her father to cancer and my cousin lost her husband and the father of her young children to a trucking accident. It also was my husbands birthday and very close to the birthdays of my own children. I wrote this poem about grief and rebirth two years ago. The mourning cloak is a kind of butterfly that my friend saw on the day they buried her father. May this poem be a blessing to you as well this day.

Isaiah 6:2

Seraphs were in attendance above him; each had six wings: with two they covered their faces, and with two they covered their feet, and with two they flew

Psalm 30:11-12

You have turned my mourning into dancing;

You have taken off my sackcloth

And clothed me with joy,

So that my soul may praise you

And not be silent.

O Lord my God I will give thanks to you forever

Cloaked in mourning

You will rise today

Allowing the Constance

Of breath to carry you through

Swaddled snugly in grief

You will move through this day

inching your way

toward and

away from

thought after endless thought

You will see in your face

His face

You will hear in your voice

His voice

You will continue to breathe

And continue

The life that he helped to create in you

Wound up in silvery threads

of tears and snot

You will open puffy red eyes

and find

that this grief

will not break you

that it can be borne

as you were born

and will be born

again and again

And, yes you will lament

that you are unraveling

The threads of sisters mother brother

Stand parallel

In tension

Disconnected without the

Woof of papa to hold them together

You hope

that time and memory will

rebind you

and the distance will not grow

And yes, you lament

that your feet will not stand

on one year old grass

Beside the stone that

marks your remembrance

but you accept

that they will tread the streets

of this city of brotherly love

and find solace

And you will stretch out

This blanket of grief

And find that though

It seems as constant as breath

It will not bind you.

You will hear on your lips

Words of praise

And thanks

For life

And you may shield your sorrowed face

And you may cover your weary feet

Yet still you will spread out wings

And rise to greet this day